I’ve been vegan for eight years now. 3 of those years, I worked in a nonvegan kitchen. And today, I want to talk about it.
The struggle is real
I started working in a nonvegan kitchen a couple years into being vegan. A lot of vegans might frown at that and exclaim “there’s always another way!” And while I’m not going to fight them on it, I will say this: If there was a better way at the time, I didn’t see it. I really needed a job, and quickly, so that I wouldn’t lose my housing. I was 18 at the time and I had hardly any experience in the work force. And when I went into my interview, they offered me enough to pay my rent and to start the next week. I wasn’t going to turn it down.
And actually, the job wasn’t terrible. I found great work relationships with my coworkers and fell into a comfortable flow as far as my responsibilities went. I felt that I really had a work family there and that we had each other’s backs when things got rough. To this day, I’m very grateful for that job and all it taught me. However, it was not without its struggles.
Getting through the day
There were many times when I was confronted with large quantities of meat in its raw and bloody form, for example, that were extremely emotionally taxing. I can also say the culture of meat eating was extremely affronting and to me, it was sometimes quite distressing. And then of course, there was the ever-present vegan conundrum of the fact that these people who you know are so kind and caring can still be so unaware of the suffering they’re causing.
I was lucky, however. While the culture of meat eating was pervasive, so was the level of respect that I felt from my colleagues. I wasn’t often teased for my decision to go vegan or the food I would bring for lunch. And I was never harassed about being vegan or being “different” from the rest of them. Which is good because if I had experienced that on top of the emotional challenges of being vegan in a nonvegan job, I don’t think I could have stayed there for as long as I did.
Many times during my employment there, I looked up tips online from strangers that would help vegans in nonvegan jobs get through the day, and each time it was to no avail. And so, now that I have this place to talk about such things, I knew I had to write a post dedicated to this subject. To let others know that you’re not alone. That someone out there went through it. That while this certainly isn’t ideal, you can do it. So, let’s do some real talk.
The mindset
While working in a nonvegan kitchen, the first thing I needed to access was the mindset. If you haven’t been vegan all your life, reflect on your mindset from before you went vegan. It’s not that you were unaware of animals being used and dying for this meal, you just had a disconnect. Try to reflect on what that felt like and the pathways your brain accessed. Practice turning that switch on and off.
Once you get good at that, learn to pair it with clocking in and out. I used to tell myself “Clocking in, checking out.” and “Clocking out, checking in.” And I did exactly that. Sometimes there were times in the day when I found my feelings creeping back in, so I would take a deep breath and visualize holding the subject and setting it down in the back corner of my mind and closing the door. I told myself that my feelings were valid, and I would acknowledge them, but not until I was done with my shift.
If you’re not familiar with this mental technique, it’s called compartmentalizing. I want to point out that it’s not healthy to simply continue to shove off your emotions and refuse to look at them–that’s called repression and it’s a different thing. The difference between repression and compartmentalization is the end. Repression ends with ignoring and refusing to feel your feelings. Compartmentalizing ends in revisiting and addressing your feelings. If you never get around to that part, then it’s not a healthy emotional practice.
Readdressing Feelings
So what about those feelings? The ones you’re left with after a long day? How are you going to handle that?
On my way to work
Well, for me, they were mostly the same ones as you get being vegan in general, just with greater frequency. I dedicated my commute to and from work to handle my thoughts and emotions around my job (which was 40 minutes each way, at the time). The way there, I would get myself psyched up for the day. I reminded myself that this was what I needed to do in order to live my life, and that my working at this place didn’t mean that more nonvegan food would be consumed.
My working there didn’t increase a demand for animal products, in fact, it was possibly the opposite, because my presence made people in the kitchen remember that there were plant foods that were just as edible. And I was able to encourage customers to more plant-based foods when they asked for my recommendations. I also reminded myself that if I chose not to work there, they would just hire someone else to do my job.
After my shift
I would deal with incidents that upset me after my shift. I would often cry for the animals on my way home or listen to angry music after seeing an instance of an animal lover excusing animal slaughter apathetically. I would remind myself that these things weren’t happening more often in the world, I was just seeing more of them because of the context.
I also took to journaling in order to vent. Sometimes all you can do is scribble on a page angrily, and sometimes journaling actually helps you find better ways of handling certain interactions and issues, should they come up again (and believe me, when it comes to interactions with vegans and nonvegans, they likely will be recurring). But either way, it helps to get things out. If you have a vegan friend or family member, that would also be a good place to go vent.
Feeling guilty
I often felt incredibly guilty, working at a nonvegan job while simultaneously calling myself vegan. And I did go through a time when I felt uncomfortable giving myself that label so I would tell myself “I strive for veganism” and things like that. But I want to tell you, if you’re feeling this way, that guilt is baseless.
I mention the definition of veganism a lot on this website, because it’s very important. When we talk about avoiding the use of animals “as far as is possible and practicable”, I think this is a very important distinction. When it comes to medication you need to be healthy, please, listen to your doctor and take it, even if it was tested on animals or something. What kind of advocate can you be if you’re deathly ill or dead? And when it comes to being homeless, please, take the job. With your stability you will have greater food security and choice of food and products you use, as well as more freedom to be able to exercise greater activism.
However, even if that wasn’t true, you should still take the job. You can care about animals a whole lot, but putting yourself first is the healthy thing to do. Sure, prioritize jobs where you don’t have to participate in nonvegan activities such as preparation of meat (etc). But if it’s that or nothing, take the job for your own life to be able to thrive. You’re not less of a vegan. You’re making the healthy choice. Being human, you have needs too, and that’s just a fact whether you like it or not. The guilt you feel? I understand it. I felt it too. But know that you’re doing okay, and you’re still vegan.
Meditation, an important tool
Another thing that I grew very dependant on was my meditation practice during this time in order to calm myself and keep my mind clear so I could make the best decisions I possibly could, given the situation. I would meditate about once a day, either before leaving for work or while on my lunch break. (Both, on a hard day.) I found that the more I kept to my meditation practice, the more I was able to handle the stressors that came with full time work as well as such an emotionally difficult topic being at the forefront of my existence all the time.
Meditation will help you sort through what thoughts are facts and what ones are simply opinions, as well as the effectiveness of each of your reactions to situations around you. The more I meditated, the more I was able to observe that I was upset without getting swept up in it. Even five minutes can make a big difference. And sometimes, a focused deep breath can be enough to get you through the moment. If you want to get started with a meditation practice, I recommend checking out this post I wrote on The Thoughts that Bind Blog about four simple meditation techniques that I’ve found over the years that work for me.
Look for a new job?
In the long run, I would suggest that vegans in nonvegan jobs try to look for alternative employment. Not because it makes you less vegan, but for your own mental health. The constant belief conflict and emotional affronts really can pile up and effect you negatively. Not to mention the effect they can have on your attitude and job performance.
Some ideas for vegans looking for ways out of the nonvegan kitchen are as follows. If you can find a vegan restaurant, that would be very transferable as far as skills and experience. Not to mention, you’d learn how to make a bunch of new vegan dishes, which would be a win-win. However, not everyone has a lot of vegan restaurants around them to apply at. And in places where they are few and far between, they are often fully staffed.
You might want to check in at other types of entry-level jobs. Jobs such as retail, sales, customer service, warehouse or entry level office positions like reception or data entry. Many of these don’t require a ton of experience, just availability and a willingness to learn.
Staying with the nonvegan job
However, some people might choose to stay with their nonvegan job, and in my opinion, that’s valid as well. If you are choosing to use your place of employment as your means of animal activism, I can understand that. Like I said, through my presence at my old job, I was able to recommend more plant based options to customers. And I helped management with customer service around those of our customers who were vegetarian or vegan. You know, to help meet their needs.
I think this form of activism is effective, if you’re able to maintain it. And as a vegan, I know I really appreciate it when my server or cook is also vegan and can give me the scoop on what is good at a place with few options. So if for you, it makes sense to stay and try to change the company from within, do it.
During the workday
While I was doing my daily shift, there were a few techniques that I would employ to increase avoidance and emotional maintenance so that I could get through the day that don’t really fit into the overall narrative but I still wanted to include. So here are some tips that may help you.
1-Take a second
Turn your face away if it’s getting too much and just take a breath. It’s okay, you’re going to get through this.
2-Strategize your break
If you know there’s going to be a more difficult task, try to plan your break right before or after (whichever works best for you) so that you get a minute for putting yourself in a conducive mindset or emotional cleanup once it’s over.
3-Keep it to yourself
You don’t have to keep your veganism a secret. Most everyone at my job knew I was vegan eventually, even if they didn’t 100% know what that meant. But you don’t need to talk about it with them, especially if you know it would go badly. It’s okay to say that you prefer not to talk about a topic because you don’t think it would be productive for either party involved.
4-Know your why
If you’re at this job that doesn’t line up with your values, it’s important to know why you’re there. Have it rock-solid in your brain, and remind yourself of it often. This will help bulk up your mental and emotional fortitude.
5- Give yourself a break
Make sure you’re making time outside of your job to simply just be vegan. To explore new recipes, products, and habits, to have conversations with like minded people, etc. This time will be instrumental to rebuilding your soul in the face of continued emotional turmoil.
6- Get lots of rest
When you’re sleep-deprived or burnt out, things that are problems already look even worse and more hopeless. Remember to nurture yourself with proper nutrition, hydration, exercise and rest. Make sure that you’re running on all cylinders instead of running yourself ragged.
Final words
Lastly, I just want to say that I’m so proud of you for doing your best with both veganism and life. There are many people who think that veganism is about privilege and short-sightedness, but what many of them don’t understand is the part that is constructed of hard decisions and doing the best you possibly can in the moment. I hear you. I understand the juxtaposition. And I think you’re awesome.
As always, thank you for reading my words. If you’re looking for more vegan-related content, make sure to subscribe to the blog for email updates when there’s a new post. If you’re looking to read marabout interactions with nonvegans, check out this post about making boundaries with nonvegans. And have a beautiful day.