So, being vegan, you’re used to being asked about it. Most people aren’t vegan, and whenever you’re the different one, well, people are bound to be curious. However, as a long-term vegan myself, I can’t say I don’t sympathize with the vegans who get flustered at questions. It can be annoying, getting the same questions all the time. It feels like you may never get to the end of talking about things that really aren’t that important to your lifestyle.
And so, that’s why I wanted to make this post. Because if you care about your vegan friends and want them to have a good day, there are questions that you can avoid. But to be honest, you still deserve the serious answer to your questions, assuming you’re asking them in good faith. So I’ve compiled a list of things that people ask vegans a lot, with some actual answers to them. But first, let’s talk about what constitutes a bad-faith question.
Interactions between vegans and nonvegans
So, here’s something you may or may not have known: A lot of people don’t really like the idea of veganism. And by extension, vegans. And you know, it’s not anyone’s fault. It’s a funny feeling, hanging around somebody who has decided not to do something that you do frequently. Some who thinks that one of your habits is wrong. It’s an even funnier feeling if a part of you thinks that they might be right.
That’s right, we’re talking about cognitive dissonance. Because even people who don’t want to go vegan tend to feel bad about what the animals go through, once they’re aware of it. And that causes conflict in their brains and hearts that they need to resolve and alleviate somehow. There’s a wide array of things that people might do to alleviate the internal discomfort. Two of which include mocking and getting aggressive. (Don’t get me wrong, there are some people who deal with their cognitive dissonance in more positive ways too. But that’s not what I’m trying to explain.) So vegans are relatively used to being teased or harassed about their decision to go vegan.
Bad-faith questions in veganism
One of the things that these defensive people may do is ask questions that they don’t seriously want the answers to. Instead, they’ll ask the question in hopes of calling the vegan out or tripping them up on some inconsistency or lack of knowledge. Ultimately, they treat conversations more like a linguistic game or maze, just looking for places to laugh or get angry or show the vegan up. And to be honest, this kind of discourse is exhausting for all involved when it’s prolonged.
The thing is, a “meat eater” is only a “meat eater” in identity in the presence of vegans. What I mean is, once there is no longer any vegetarian or vegan around, they resume being “normal”, conceptually speaking. So they can cease having this sort of interaction almost whenever they want, simply by going to any neutral space and existing. But a vegan will meet those who eat animal products wherever they go. And so it can get taxing. Vegans get sort of jaded about their interactions with nonvegans after a while. (At least, when it comes to talking about veganism.)
I don’t usually like to bring this subject up, because I don’t feel like hurting people’s feelings. (Vegan or otherwise.) But it’s a necessary understanding to have in this conversation, because it explains some of the perhaps “oversensitive” responses that vegans often have to what others consider simple questions. It’s just that we get the questions so much and about half the time, people don’t even actually want to hear our answers. So yeah, vegans do get a little touchy from time to time when it comes to these conversations. (Not to mention that being vegan, you’ll perceive these conversations as having much higher stakes than someone who is a complacent meat eater. That accounts for some extra stress as well.)
Where vegans mess up
So now that we’ve got the explanation for vegans out of the way, let’s talk about the mistake they often make. (Or I should say “we”, since I’m included in this group.) When someone is asking us a question that we’ve heard way too many times before (often in a joking or combative manner), we often fail to see the possible earnestness of the question. Because for every person who’s barraging us with questions to harass us, there’s someone else who is genuinely curious. Someone who is trying to understand and just had this thought pop into their head. They have no way of knowing that so many people have asked this same thing just for laughs. And to gruffly brush them off is dismissive.
When vegans misjudge a nonvegan’s intentions behind asking a question, we can do the movement of veganism a big disservice. We put ourselves and our frustrations before the facts and message behind the lifestyle choice of veganism. I don’t think any vegan sets out to be negative PR for veganism. It happens when we make a mistake in reading the room. Or when we’re tired. Or just…before we realize that’s not the way we want to handle interactions, in general. And I’m not immune to it, either.
I’m not as articulate as I could be
Honestly, I don’t always conduct myself well in these sorts of conversations either. I get overwhelmed, being the face of veganism in any given conversation. Because it feels like so much is riding on this. So many animals are killed for people’s meals. This conversation could literally be life and death for some animals, whether it goes well or not. That’s a lot of pressure that I don’t think I often channel well.
And I’m working on it. I want to be the kind of person that is able to talk about serious, important topics, and represent them well. In all areas of my life. Certainly, the first step is awareness. But while I’m working on that, I thought I could put my awareness to use by going online and telling people about this. Vegans, understand that meat-eaters don’t always mean to be antagonistic when they ask these frustrating questions. And non-vegans, please understand that vegans aren’t upset at you. They’re upset at the fact that animals are getting used, abused, tortured and killed. And that sometimes, when you’re vegan, the world seems like a very backwards place because otherwise really kind and caring people don’t care. Or even more so, they’ll laugh and joke about very real suffering and slaughter.
Furthermore, while I work on my own ability to communicate in distress, I thought it would be a good idea to compile a list of the questions that often get us vegans down in the dumps and answer them honestly. This doesn’t make up for the times when I don’t explain my beliefs and decisions well in my personal life, but hopefully somebody out there will read this and understand better where vegans are coming from so they don’t have to ask next time. I will give each question careful deliberation and give my honest and thorough opinions about each of them.
Beneath, you’ll find a link to each question’s designated post. I hope you can benefit from my honesty. And if you have a question that you’d like to ask vegans (but you’re worried it’s too annoying), leave it as a comment down below, and I’ll add it to the list!
The Questions
Don’t you miss cheese? This one’s all about vegan cravings.
Why are you vegan? I wrote a post about why people go (and stay) vegan! Check it out!
Where do you get your protein? If you’re considering a vegan diet, this is an important thing to know.
Isn’t eating vegan expensive? It can be, but you can also do it for cheap. Here’s how.
What about lions? Okay, let’s talk about lions and veganism, shall we?
What if you were stranded on a desert island? Here’s my honest assessment.
What would we do with the animals if we all went vegan overnight? Good for you to be so concerned for the welfare of the animals!
How are plants any different than animals? Why should animals be spared compared to plants? If they’re both living things, what’s the difference, right?
Aren’t vegans supposed to be skinny? You may have a misconception about vegans and what it means to be vegan.
Why do vegans make food that looks like meat? It may seem odd, but it’s become more common for multiple reasons.
Can I eat this in front of you? When vegans and nonvegans eat together, odd things can happen.
Can vegans and nonvegans date? For some couples, this can work. We’ll talk about this more in this post.