Hello and welcome to Eight Years In! And if you’re returning, welcome back. Thank you for tuning back in to read my thoughts. Today, we’re talking about vegans. And specifically, this idea that they can never shut up about their veganism. 

The stereotype

   The fact is, it’s become a common perception that vegans talk about veganism all the time. The most common vegan joke is “How do you know if someone is vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you!” 

   I would say that there is some truth to this perception, although it is a stereotype. Clearly, if someone never talks about being vegan, you wouldn’t know that they are—assuming that you aren’t close enough to eat meals with them regularly or shop for toiletries (etc).

   And so it’s true that you may not know that some people are vegan. That being said, vegans do tend to talk about their veganism. 

The perception

   I think there’s also something to be said about the perception of veganism. What I mean is that it’s important to remember that veganism is not considered the norm. So comments that have to do with it may carry extra contextual weight. 

   This idea of “don’t worry, they’ll tell you” applies to nonvegans too. You’ll hear people talk about their steak dinners and pizza plans all the time. However, often nonvegans don’t think anything of it because it’s considered normal. Well, often vegans feel the same way. They may talk about their food/interests, but because they are vegan, that will probably come up in casual conversation if they are not consciously avoiding it. Because that’s what they’re eating/buying/doing. 

   So a lot of the “vegan talk” tends to really just be people talking about their life. When the vegan says they found a great vegan pizza, they’re not trying to push veganism down your throat, they’re just telling you what they did on Friday. 

But what about those vegans?

   Okay, so I’ve covered the parts where I may not agree with this idea and stereotype of the outspoken vegan. But I would be remiss not to admit that some vegans are quite vocal. 

    And there are various reasons for this. One is simply personality. It’s the least interesting one, but makes up for quite a bit of the basis of outspoken vegans. You have to be the kind of person who has a propensity for speaking up if you’re going to live your life that way, to some extent. Many of these people find themselves speaking out about many things, not just veganism. And if they weren’t vegan, they probably would still be divisive personalities talking about hot button issues with fervor. 

   But that’s not all there is to these loud vegans. And I think it’s worth examining the other two main reasons for this outspokenness so that it has a better chance at being correctly interpreted. 

Veganism is a trauma, sort of

   I remember when I first went vegan, I was a lot more outspoken about it than I am now. I was willing to argue with anyone which would quickly turn bad. And I simply could not function in the “normal, nonvegan world” that surrounded me. This followed for about two years and died down a bit around year three. 

   You may wonder why it died down. And it’s true, there were a couple different reasons. Between the sort of helplessness I felt that the world around me would never go vegan and I couldn’t make them listen, there was also a very real sense of trauma that came to me through veganism. Let me explain. 

   Veganism is very much not about vegans. It’s about the animals. (Or for some I suppose, the environment and their health as well, but as the definition stands veganism is an ethical stance about animal rights.) And yet, there is still a discussion to be had about the emotional turmoil of first going vegan. 

   You grow up being told that it’s okay to eat animals, that drinking milk is good for you, and so on and so forth. When you finally realize that these animals aren’t having the good time you were assured, it can be very scarring. There’s an anger and disgust there on behalf of the animals and what they go through. And also on your own behalf, because basically everyone you’ve ever talked to has been lied to and lied to you. That feels like such a betrayal. You’ve been tricked into agreeing to something you didn’t understand your whole life. And now that you do, you find it morally bankrupt. Not to mention those visions or the suffering animals won’t get out of your head! 

   This makes it very difficult to keep your mouth shut. The combination of the pain and betrayal stings. It’s acute and you feel like this spell has been broken and you finally woke up! You want to wake the others up too. I feel that as the initial trauma of my vegan awakening wore off, I was able to be more pragmatic in my approach with others. Thinking about if the exposure I was giving was a good one, instead of just about exposure in general.

They would’ve wanted to know

   I actually think vegans being “pushy” or militant is a bit of a compliment in a weird way. While it can feel uncomfortable, it shows to me that the vegan views you as a little bit like them. They give you credit for being a caring person and think that if they just say the right thing, then you’ll come to the realization they were circling for many years on their own before going vegan. 

   Not to say that every quiet vegan perceives you as uncaring and dense, but if they felt that way they certainly wouldn’t be telling you about the lack of ethics involved in the animal agriculture industry. 

They just want us to feel guilty

   Well, yes and no. I would argue that these militant vegans (as I hear them often called) are not trying to illicit any sort of feeling, but rather a response from you (which is to stop participating in the animal agriculture industry as much as you possibly can). So their end goal is that call to action, not your feeling of guilt. 

   However, I would argue that guilt isn’t inherently a bad thing. Listen, we feel guilt when we know that we’ve done something wrong. That’s different from the shame of being something wrong (which you can learn about more over on our sister site, the Thoughts that Bind. Click here for that post). If hearing a vegan talk about the horrors you of the animal agriculture industry makes you feel guilty, then that means that deep down, you do feel there’s something wrong here. And you realize that by your actions you are participating in it. No, you didn’t create it and you’re not responsible for it existing in the first place. But it is bad and you’re playing your part. 

   This guilt is something that many if not most vegans felt before they went vegan. I know I certainly did. And it’s not something you have to answer to us for. We know that discomfort (at least those of us who were not born vegan, which is the majority). I would not ever want to go back to those feelings I had before going vegan. And luckily, the change of going vegan helps you to eliminate that. 

The slippery, pokey nature of persuasion

   With all of this talk about “vegans talking about veganism”, I think we really don’t give enough credence to what really works  when it comes to persuading someone of something. Most vegans just walk around saying whatever they can think of when it comes to “vegan, good, nonvegan, bad” and hope that something will stick. 

   The fact is, very few of us really understand the mechanism of our own decision to go vegan, much less how to apply that to others. And in my opinion, this can lead to a lot of pointless babble. It’s only a clever few who seem to be any good at convincing others to give veganism a try, much less staying vegan. The rest of us vegans have the tendency to try to hit as many points as possible, hoping this next one will be the one that sticks. 

   Unfortunately this can backfire massively, leaving a bad taste about veganism in people’s mouths for ages. I think as vegans, we need to learn to do better. And while it seems like we’re making headway, we need to be open to still learning to improve our strategies and communication skills, because lives do depend on this. 

In conclusion

   All of this to say that there are vegans all over the chatty spectrum. Some go undetected while others are quite outspoken and off putting. I do think that the majority of vegans do try not to be the vegan that gives all the rest of us a bad name. That being said, the outspoken ones are correct: it is not fair what we do to animals and we should stop. 

   It’s important for vegans to try and learn more effective communication and persuasion strategies. However, I also believe it would be good for nonvegans to realize that as frustrating as vegans may be, their points are not about them or you. If you feel guilty or resentful that the vegan thinks they’re better than you, these things may be informing you of some hidden feelings you didn’t realize you had. And those, dear reader, are worth examining. 

   And whoever you are, vegan or non, thank you for reading my thoughts. If you’re interested in hearing more about the social and emotional side of veganism, subscribe to the blog and share it with your loved ones. And as usual, have an amazing day!