Hello, and welcome to Eight Years In. Here, we discuss many topics surrounding veganism and living a more ethical, positive life. 

   I’ve been vegan for nine years now, and while I love it and consider it really important to me, even I can admit that it’s not all rainbows all the time. Being vegan can come with some really strong negative emotions. 

   And we’ve talked about depression and veganism (which you can find here), as well as what I call the vegan anger (click here to read that discussion). But there’s one we haven’t quite yet covered in depth. Veganism can get lonely. 

The loneliness 

   I live in an area where veganism is really uncommon. And while I’m lucky enough to say that I’m not the only other vegan I’ve ever met in real life, I am the only other vegan that I know. 

   Sometimes this fact can get overwhelming. It seems like the whole world just doesn’t care about the effects of their actions, often to the point of cruelty. Not to mention, since veganism is considered “weird” by many still, I don’t feel like I can always speak about it openly, which leads to me feeling like I have to hide (or at least ignore) large parts of my life sometimes, simply to avoid upsetting someone. 

   And this reality of living a vegan life in a very nonvegan place gets pretty isolating. If you don’t live in LA and you can’t remember the last time you passed a vegan restaurant on a commute, veganism can be, at times, lonely. 

The struggle is real

   You’re not alone in this. I feel it from time to time and I’ve seen people break down crying and give up because they feel like the odd one out. 

   But there is good news in all of this. Since you’re not the only one who has felt this way, there are those who have been able to come up with ways of coping and in some cases, solving these issues. And after nine years, I have a few ideas for you. So let’s get started! Here’s how I deal with the vegan loneliness. 

Make good friends 

   Now I don’t mean to say that that you need to find vegan friends. (Heck, if it were that simple you probably would’ve done it by now.) But you can still find good friends, even though it may not be possible for you to find other vegan friends. 

   You want friends that are supportive of who you are as a person, including your vegan ethics and lifestyle. Friends who aren’t going to make fun of you when you’re ordering at a restaurant or talking about your new favorite cruelty free shampoo (or whatever). 

   I have found that as long as my friends respect me and my viewpoint, I am able to be myself around them and acknowledge my veganism where it comes up in conversation. And while that doesn’t make me feel less alone in my veganism per se, it does help me feel less alone in life, and that’s important. 

Volunteer 

   While veganism might not be big in your community, you will likely still be able to find causes that are compatible with your values. You can donate your time (or money) to nature reserves, farm sanctuaries, and no-kill shelters in your area to help and be around animals. 

   You can also branch out into other forms of volunteering, to find more kind and like-minded people who want to get out there and make a difference in this world. Even if they’re not vegan, you will often find that you have more in common with them than you thought. 

Bring a bunch of food to the party

   I know that there are many people who find that things such as the liberation pledge make sense to them ethically. And I’m not going to criticize that point of view in the slightest. (If you’re not familiar with the liberation pledge, give this post a read for an explanation.)

   That being said, I’ve spent enough years as a vegan to know that eating before you go somewhere and then showing up late or sitting around where everyone’s eating meat can be upsetting and uncomfortable for everyone involved. Not to mention, it serves to further drive home the differences between the people in question. 

   If you’re a good cook (or were able to find a decent recipe), I would recommend bringing your own food to events, and bringing enough to share with everyone. The truth is, most people are curious about vegan food and would be willing to try it if it were sitting out in front of them alongside everything else. 

   When you see other people happily eating your food, it feels good. It reminds you that we’re all human, that we all need to eat and that we all appreciate a tasty treat now and then. It can also show you that sometimes, we as vegans tend to think in absolutes, but the nonvegans that we feel so down about aren’t really as opposed to our position as it may seem. 

Get online

   For those of you who do live in vegan-scarce areas, I have to mention how instrumental the internet is to finding community. (Although if you’re reading this, it’s likely you know that already.) 

   For any social media you’re on, you can find vegan content and other vegans with ideas and experience. I promise you, we’re everywhere. You just have to start typing vegan into any search engine. 

   Now, it’s true that there are some good vegan communities and some bad ones (you can read more about my thoughts on vegan social media here), but all in all, I find that having somewhere to simply express yourself and talk about your vegan life is worth it. 

Think about something else

   And I know this last one is going to sound ridiculous to many of you. It often does to me, especially when I most need to hear it. But sometimes you’ve just got to think about something else. 

   I know there are atrocities going on in each and every moment and it’s horrendous. I know that you feel alone and like there’s nothing we can do to stop it or make anyone care. But sometimes, you have to switch your focus. Sometimes, you have to think about something else for your mental health. And sometimes, it is effective activism to not hammer in more unpleasantness. I definitely don’t have this balance down all of the time. But I know enough to realize when I’ve gone off the deep end. 

   The fact is that there are real injustices in this world. That good people regularly do bad things because of social conditioning, lack of information and honestly, just habit sometimes. But the thing you have to remember is that they’re still just people. They have good things about them and it can be good to shift the focus onto them from time to time, for the good of everyone involved. 

   Find common ground with the people around you. Remember that they too, want to be good. And remember that there are other important things in the world than veganism. It is healthy to care about more than one issue, and it can do your mind (and your cause) some good to branch out if you feel yourself spinning out of control. 

You can handle this!

   All in all, when it comes to the vegan loneliness, there are ways of coping. You want to find community of like-minded people that respect you, and find more vegans around you if you can. 

   One way you can participate in vegan community even if you don’t have any vegans around you is by subscribing to the blog. We talk a lot about vegan lifestyle topics, especially those on the social and emotional side of things. 

   As usual, thank you for reading my thoughts. If you’ve found other ways of coping with vegan loneliness, let us know in the comments so we can learn from each other. And have a wonderful day!