This is a simple post today, but I wanted to talk about it with everyone because it’s something I see popping up over and over again in vegan circles. And no one seems to say a dang thing about it! So today, we’re going to talk about vegan food and tricking nonvegans into eating it.
With the rise of easily available and “more realistic” vegan replacement products, I also see people in many vegan social circles having conversations about tricking nonvegans into trying nonvegan food. The conversation will usually follow one of a few lines.
- Someone isn’t ready to tell others that they’ve gone vegan, and so they want to defer that conversation, making only meals that don’t look vegan in the meantime, hoping the people they cook for won’t notice.
- Somebody has a family member or loved one who vehemently opposes their veganism and won’t try any of their food out of hostility, so they ask “how can I trick them into trying it?”
- Or, the vegan views it as a fun little game to see if they can make a meal comparable enough to a nonvegan one (in a creative sense), and they use tricking nonvegans as a barometer for their success.
And I’m not going to veil my position on this or save it for the end. The fact is that I’m against this practice as a general rule. I do think there could hypothetically be exceptions, and we’ll talk about those too. But seriously, in general, don’t trick nonvegans into eating vegan food. That can very quickly become a bad situation. For more detail, let’s look at these scenarios.
Avoiding conversations
So in the first example, we’re looking at a mechanism that I’m all too familiar with–avoidance. The truth is, not everyone will be thrilled to find out you went vegan. (It’s weird to think about because it’s your own personal decision. And it’s a decision which arguably causes less suffering, so why would others be so opposed? But nonetheless, it’s true.) And for people who aren’t good with confrontation for whatever reason, it can be difficult to talk about these kinds of things.
I remember when I first went vegan, I didn’t tell anyone for a couple weeks–not even my family–and I was living with them at the time. I was anxious even thinking of bringing it up. But here’s the deal. Not having conversations about big changes in your life with the people who are instrumental in it is a recipe for disaster. And by avoiding this conversation, you’re not really accomplishing anything. In fact, you’re just putting it off. And likely, you’re putting it off for a time when you’ve been caught in a lie. Then you’ll have to explain not only your veganism, but also your secrecy.
Think about it this way. Are you planning on being a long-term vegan? (Probably, if you think of your decision as “going vegan” instead of like, going on a diet or something.) If so, then the decision to keep this a secret from the people who you’re going to be eating with and who will possibly be preparing your food (and/or vice versa) is simply unsustainable. And honestly, it’s more trouble than it’s worth. Even if you somehow manage to fool them with the food you’re having them try, you’re still avoiding a conversation that you should be having.
And you know what? As uncomfortable as the whole “I’m vegan now” conversation can get (and believe me, I’ve had some bad ones), eventually, the weirdness goes away. You’ll find that most people get over it with time. And the ones that don’t tend to be the ones who are intolerant of you in other ways already. Why is this? Well, because ultimately the people who really care about you…care about you. It doesn’t ultimately matter to them what you’re eating, as long as you’re happy and healthy. So really, by not having the conversation, you’re prolonging this adjustment period for your relationships. Give the people you care about a chance to accept this new part of your life.
Hostile carnists
So then there’s a second type of vegan trickster motivation, which I think comes from frustration. I myself have a family member who flat out will not try any food I’ve made, because they know it’s vegan. And if you ask me, that’s pretty obnoxious. There is no concrete reason why someone without dietary restrictions cannot eat a vegan meal (or dish) when presented with one. It’s like how I really enjoy wheat-based products. I like bread and pasta and baked goods–all of that. But hey, if someone offers me a slice of gluten-free toast, that’s not going to hurt me. And as long as it’s also vegan, of course I’ll try it.
In fact, this attitude is increasingly more common among nonvegans too. But there are some people who have this immediate, adverse reaction to a food upon knowing it’s vegan. And it’s 100% mental and emotional. Which is the precise reason I don’t advocate for trying to trick these people.
Think about the end game here. If you got your way, they’d try a vegan dish and realize that it’s not that bad, it’s just food, and maybe it’s even delicious (if you’re a good cook). And then what? Do you tell them that it’s vegan? Because to me, either move you make from there, you (as the vegan) lose ground. If you don’t tell them, you’re vindicated because you know they’re just being silly. Of course they like delicious vegan food, just like anyone else. But they don’t know that. You haven’t opened their eyes to anything, so it isn’t like you’ve contributed to a lasting change.
On the flip side, telling them something is vegan after they’ve eaten it is admitting to deceit, and in their eyes, a betrayal. Now, instead of equating veganism with the good food they just had, they’re going to pair it with your lie. That’s not a desirable look, if you want them to consider eating more vegan food (or maybe even going vegan themself) in the future. All you’ve done is further nail in the idea that vegans are jerks.
Basically, if they’re the kind of person you have to trick into eating vegan food, then you really shouldn’t. Sure, it may seem ridiculous to a vegan that someone should feel betrayed because their food was made without the use of a corpse or some bodily secretions. But it doesn’t change the fact that that is (likely) their perspective. Exhibiting this behavior won’t change that–it’ll just exacerbate it. And another thing to think about is that you definitely wouldn’t want them trying to trick you into eating nonvegan food, right? Because that might be a justifiable behavior in their eyes, as far as retaliation goes. That’s not a healthy dynamic for anyone.
The food replacement game
I often have talks with my nonvegan partner about vegan replacement foods, and we’re of slightly different philosophies. For me, a vegan, the issue of primary importance with a “vegan replacement food” is as follows: is it delicious? If it is, then I’m happy. But for a nonvegan especially, vegan replacement foods will likely only be considered good if they are “more realistic”. Which is to say that the closer they get to identical to the product they mimic, the better or “more successful” they can be considered.
To me, this is a neutral perspective. Many vegans agree with it too, in fact, and I think that’s fine. In general, that’s what these replacement foods are made for. (Although I know a lot of vegans today have a different frame of reference than the long-termers do. The “replacements” we had back in 2013 when I first went vegan were largely laughable, and just thinking of what the 90’s vegans ate makes me cringe. But they walked so these baby vegans could run. I don’t see the point of getting all gatekeeping and elitist once we finally got what we always hoped for, but that’s another post entirely.)
At any rate, I have these conversations often enough, about whether or not the replacement food “seems real”. To evaluate whether or not it’s a good product for both of us, not just me. But we do this with full disclosure. I’m not trying to trick my partner, and he isn’t opposed to trying new vegan foods. This is very different than trying to trick someone. That openness is an essential part of the process.
If you have a relationship where it’s established that trying to “trick” the nonvegan into unknowingly eating vegan food is an okay thing to do, then go ahead. That’s your game that everyone’s aware of and has consented to. With a proper foundation, I don’t see an issue with it. But without that prior agreement, I would advise against it. A lot of people are willing to try vegan food from time to time. But many would be upset if they were tricked into doing it.
So please, stop normalizing tricking nonvegans. It doesn’t create lasting change or allyship. Thank you for reading and considering what I have to say. If you’re interested in more vegan content, consider subscribing to the blog for email updates whenever a new post goes live. And have a great day!